The Shattered Sky

I’ve been questioning my life.

Let’s see. I got my degree. Finally. My day job is looking up and I’ve started lecturing on the side. My car’s in good shape, I can afford little luxuries and I’ve got a decent home. I haven’t got the girl but that’s okay – I’m not sure if I want any great commitment yet anyway.

One might say life is going pretty good for me…but I’m not happy. I don’t mean to come off as ungrateful for everything that I have, but I’m not happy.

I want something more. I want to be something more. I’ve never wanted to just be another blip on the radar. Let’s face it: What would happen if I disappeared off the face of the Earth tomorrow? There would be some disruptions to the lives of those around me: Some might grieve, others feel some sort of inconvenience, and who knows; some might even do a little jig in celebration. The fact of the matter is that eventually the void would be filled, people would move on and I would have left little of any real consequence in the world.

In some ways that may be the nature of human life. But: How many times have you looked at a historical figure and awed at the long term impact they have had on our civilization? How many times have you gotten lost in a really good book or film and found yourself inspired by it?

I suppose I want to be the one making those milestones. I want to be the one creating that inspiration. Now don’t get me wrong – I don’t want the glory. Nobody has to know that it was me. I just want to know to myself that I was more than just another fish in the sea.